Does anyone speak English?

I had an out of body experience at a Chinese buffet last night. All I wanted were crab legs. Yeah yeah, I know, I haven't quite given up seafood yet...but I'm working on it. Anyway, all I wanted were crab legs, but they were being held hostage in the kitchen. Why? I can't answer that. I asked several workers if crab legs were coming out, because I had called ahead of time to make sure they served crab legs during dinner time, and was told that they did. Every time I asked, they pointed at something saying "napisitoo, napisitoo", it didn't even sound like Chinese. I was very confused. Finally a man took my plate, went into the kitchen and came back with a plate of crab legs. Very weird. Hardly enough for our party of fifteen. I guess it was all you can eat...except for crab legs. So while the rest of our party waited for another magical plate of crab legs to appear, I went on a search for butter. And there was...you guessed it, NO BUTTER. I gave the plate of crab legs to my daughter to hold, and told her to guard it with her life. I went in circles asking for butter, "One minute, one minute...napisitoo, napisitoo". Five minutes and ten napisitoo's later, nothing. There I stood in the middle of the buffet with this overwhelming anxiety building in my chest, which unfortunately resulted in that out of body experience I mentioned before. Gripping my little butter bowl tighter than a pimp holds his money I screamed, "DOES ANYONE SPEAK ENGLISH...ANYONE...DOES ANYONE SPEAK ENGLISH???" After a moment of complete silence, a woman appeared with butter. But no crab legs.

The crab leg situation was really only the half of it. The staff was abrupt and very rude, and treated us like trash. This was by the way the most expensive buffet I have ever been to, and also the smallest!

Later I tried to figure out what napisitoo meant. I can only gather she was saying lapistoo which translated to lobster maybe?? If that's the case, they were trying to suggest we eat some imitation lobster meat so they wouldn't have to waste their crab legs on us.

Just so you know, as our rather "dark" party left, every Asian at the buffet had an overflowing plate of crab legs. Funny I thought.

Me with the very coveted crab legs...


And my friend with no crab legs...



P.S. They were horrible.