So this is what it's come to...

I have resorted to cruel and unusual tactics to ensure that I do not cheat on my diet. Now when I say "diet" I really mean that I am just trying to eat well and shed some pounds...it's just easier to say diet. Ok, so my new tactic is (insert horror music here), whenever I feel the urge to cheat on my "diet" I watch a Beyonce or Shakira music video. By the time it's over, the urge to comsume inhale the the sweet creamy goodness that melts on my tongue and leaves a lingering hint of sugary bliss....oh crap brb...



Ok, I'm fine now, and suddenly I want carrots.

Thank God it's over!

Ok yeah, I'm thankful, but as a vegetarian, if I had to hear "Happy Turkey Day" just one more time... *covers ears* It's like telling an Atheist "God bless you." I don't want to be that vegetarian that tries to rain on everyone elses meat parade, but FYI Thanksgiving is not a very happy day for the Turkies...or Native Americas for that matter, for some it's actually considered a day of mourning.

I for one, am looking forward to the warmth and fuzziness of Christmas. It is truly my favorite time of year! I'm trying to drop at least 10lbs before the company Holiday party, so I can PROPERLY fit into something cute. Today was the first day of my supposed return to normal food cosumption. I don't think I did very well. I had a corn muffin for breakfast, and egg and scallion fried rice with a veg roll for lunch. *sigh* Tomorrow, tomorrow will be better.

Don't ya love things made in China

If our office Christmas tree goes up in flames, those flames will be very special.

Why you ask? Because they are...

Why can't I just be pleasantly plump and happy?

I recently gained back nine of the thirty pounds that I lost, and it really has me bummed. I have been spiraling out of control with my late night eating inhaling of food. It's definitely a myth that vegetarians are skinny! I have also been indulging in large amounts of irresistible sweets. That's my weakness! A friend brought cupcakes from Crumbs Bake Shop to a little gathering we had this past weekend. OMG OMG OMG They were heavenly. In addition to the overeating, I haven't been going to the gym regularly. I had been going at least four times a week, doing mega mega cardio. I have been trying to convince myself that I'm very active all day thus burning off all the crap that I have been placing ever so lovingly in my mouth. Yeah right! I would have jog to Canada just to break even. So this post is serving as a contract with myself that as of right now Friday, I am going to resume my normal eating and working out regimen.

She really loves Heineken

Egyptian Musk

Reminds me of simpler times
When doing nothing was fun
And you went outside for no reason at all
When HOT 97 was the shit
And your friends asked you to make copies of mix tapes you made yourself from the radio…
Even though you heard the DJ's voice between each song
When your prized possessions were your bamboo earrings
And all the girls dressed like tomboys
When everything was "FRESH"
And there was no SOURCE magazine, just Black Beat and Right On!
And you ripped out all the pages of LL Cool J and Rakim to paste on your bedroom wall
When everyone stopped what they were doing Thursdays at 8pm to watch the Cosby Show
When Nightmare on Elm Street was scary shit
And the Fourth of July was actually fun
When summer time was the best season
And friendships were really real
Damn Egyptian Musk!

Flashback:

How I don't miss 80's & 90's hair.

No turkey, no cry

Only vegetarians who made the life choice to not eat meat because of the inhumane slaughtering of animals will truly understand this post. Today I was given a turkey by my job for the upcoming holiday. It’s sitting on my desk as I write this. I feel a sense of sadness just looking at it. Perhaps one week ago, it was alive, and a painful death was on its way. My whole life I was a meat eater. Growing up in a Latin household, meat accompanied EVERY meal, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Today I can’t even fathom letting it touch my lips. I can’t even see a piece of meat anymore without wondering how that animal must have died, and what dreadful experience it had to endure at the hands of heartless people. *sigh*

WARNING: VIDEO FOOTAGE IS EXTREMELY GRAPHIC.





Click here to watch more videos at PETA.org

I jingle all the way

Get your mind out of the gutter! I was reading my good friend Helm's blog (oh yeah we're besties hehe), and it got me to thinking about Christmas. I love Christmas, but I don't really celebrate it for its religious significance anymore. It seems I've become more spiritual than religious in the last few years. My mother wasn't thrilled about the Buddha that was watching her pee in my bathroom, but I told her that I think Jesus glaring at her would have been way scarier. Anyway, setting aside religion, there is just a feeling around the holidays that I can't explain. It's happy, it's nostalgic, it's cozy, it's exciting, it's emotional, it's full of love (most of the time)...it's just merry and wonderful. In January when the credit card bills start rolling in, and you're wondering if those battery operated heated slippers you bought Aunt Shelly were really worth it, just think of how often you really buy your loved ones gifts. And although it's not all about gift giving, it feels great to be able to give and receive.

Check yo'self befo' you wreck yo'self.

I understand that my use of public transportation reduces my carbon footprint, so I feel good about my contribution to saving the planet, but lord am I surrounded by complete idiots. Sometimes I feel like I'm on a hidden camera show! Today a very large woman sat next to me in a two-seater and literally had me pinned to the window for about a half an hour. In no way is this a jab at her weight, because I too am on a weight loss journey, but the key is knowing where you fit, and where you don’t. Another favorite is when someone has been waiting for the bus for a while, and they wait till they get on the bus to start digging through their bottomless pit of a purse for their Metro Card. Oooohh another is when someone is going down into the station while talking on their cell phone, and they stop short in the middle of the stairs to get their last few words in before losing their signal. I also love it when people bust open their box of Popeye’s and start grubbing right next to you. Why do I have to smell like fried chicken? Or, or, this is a good one, what about the guy who likes to take full advantage of a crowded bus/train by standing right behind you rocking to and fro poking you with his semi hard pee pee…that’s always fun!

Ahhh public transportation, it’s good times.

Does anyone speak English?

I had an out of body experience at a Chinese buffet last night. All I wanted were crab legs. Yeah yeah, I know, I haven't quite given up seafood yet...but I'm working on it. Anyway, all I wanted were crab legs, but they were being held hostage in the kitchen. Why? I can't answer that. I asked several workers if crab legs were coming out, because I had called ahead of time to make sure they served crab legs during dinner time, and was told that they did. Every time I asked, they pointed at something saying "napisitoo, napisitoo", it didn't even sound like Chinese. I was very confused. Finally a man took my plate, went into the kitchen and came back with a plate of crab legs. Very weird. Hardly enough for our party of fifteen. I guess it was all you can eat...except for crab legs. So while the rest of our party waited for another magical plate of crab legs to appear, I went on a search for butter. And there was...you guessed it, NO BUTTER. I gave the plate of crab legs to my daughter to hold, and told her to guard it with her life. I went in circles asking for butter, "One minute, one minute...napisitoo, napisitoo". Five minutes and ten napisitoo's later, nothing. There I stood in the middle of the buffet with this overwhelming anxiety building in my chest, which unfortunately resulted in that out of body experience I mentioned before. Gripping my little butter bowl tighter than a pimp holds his money I screamed, "DOES ANYONE SPEAK ENGLISH...ANYONE...DOES ANYONE SPEAK ENGLISH???" After a moment of complete silence, a woman appeared with butter. But no crab legs.

The crab leg situation was really only the half of it. The staff was abrupt and very rude, and treated us like trash. This was by the way the most expensive buffet I have ever been to, and also the smallest!

Later I tried to figure out what napisitoo meant. I can only gather she was saying lapistoo which translated to lobster maybe?? If that's the case, they were trying to suggest we eat some imitation lobster meat so they wouldn't have to waste their crab legs on us.

Just so you know, as our rather "dark" party left, every Asian at the buffet had an overflowing plate of crab legs. Funny I thought.

Me with the very coveted crab legs...


And my friend with no crab legs...



P.S. They were horrible.

Would You Rather...

So Boobs purchased a game for a kind of housewarming we are having next weekend, it's called Would You Rather. I have unofficially played this game with one of my bosses (the young cool one), but we don't get very creative. I've asked him things like:

Would you rather be freeeeeezing cold, or burnnnnnning hot?
Would you rather be starvvvvving, or so full you feel like you are about to explode?

Pretty boring right?

Well these would you rather game people have taken it to another level!!

Would you rather...
Eat a tablespoon of dried boogers, or tablespoon of eye crusties?
Drink a gallon of used hot dog water, or a shot glass of someone else's foot sweat?
Lick the floor underneath a refrigerator, or the underside of a toilet rim?

*gags*

Should be fun!

Turkey anyone?

I have been at my job for almost nine years. This past March I made the decision to go vegetarian. Yesterday at work I received a memo which said, this year (for the first time ever in all of my meat eating years) to express their gratitude for our hard work, we would be receiving a free turkey. Great.

Concrete diving anyone?

So this morning was running pretty smoothly. I caught the 8:15 bus. There was no abnormal activity on the 8:15 bus. Everything was just dandy. I got off the bus and looked at the time….. 8:57…WHAT??? That bus usually gets me to work at roughly 8:45. So with a block and a half ahead of me, I started to do a lil jogging. Now I should tell you that my office is extremely casual, so I am wearing Converse and a lil morning jog shouldn't be a dangerous thing. I mean it’s not like I am wearing stilettos or anything. OK now I don’t play baseball, but from what I have seen on TV, what happened next can only be described as me stealing third base, except there was no base, just rugged uneven concrete. And while I understand that putting my hands out in front of me protected my face and teeth. Oh lord, my teeth, I don’t want to even imagine the horror. I won’t even speak of it. So while I do understand the benefit of putting my hands in front of me, can I just say…OOOOOOUUUUUCHHHH!!!! I went flying and sliding on that concrete. Of course it was much more than physical pain. There was a red light situation, so about ten cars parallel to me were in a perfect position to feast on my humiliation. What happened next you ask? I got up very quickly, so quickly in fact that I dropped my cell phone. I heard a voice coming from one of the cars, “Are you OK?” My response, “Yeah, Yeah, I’m fine thanks!” I shuffled with my bag, picked up my cell phone and kept running. I ran like I stole something. I wasn’t even thinking about getting to work by 9am anymore. I just wanted to get away from those eyes that had seen that fall. I got to work at 8:59. The whole event was more than two minutes though… I remembered later that my watch is fast, so I didn’t even need to run.

Other events of the morning include the breakfast delivery guy forgetting my Snapple, realizing I might have lost my vitamins during the fall, and a bottle of Aleve opening up in my bag. Oh and there is dirt embedded so deeply in my raw hands that I can’t get it out.

There is a bottle of Shiraz at home with my name ALLLLL over it.

Shakira Shakira

OK, so she is neck in neck with SJP on my obsession scale.



Her hips don't lie you know, and mine don't either...they tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. The only difference is, her hips say Oooh La La, while mine say Arroz con gandules and double fudge brownies. :/

I just love her damn it.

Eddie is the man!

I just had to share this photo of my toddler Eddie taken by Karolina. He is too cute for words, freshly groomed and being a total ham.


And here he is with Karolina, who we believe might have been a feral child. Doesn't he look so sweet and innocent? YEAH OK! He is in his terrible two's big time...but I could just eat him up!

Something in your teeth?

What is a girl to do when she's on the bus and feels a little grain of something stuck in her tooth? Well I can tell you what not to do. Please do not fist your face while sitting amongst other commuters who have not had their breakfast yet, and will surely be haunted by the visual. I will try to paint this picture for you, but I must warn you, it is not G rated. I don't even know letter I would use to rate this experience. Perhaps G is the right letter... G as in GROSS! Anyway, after trying several fingers in the most obscene hand positions to no avail, she began using her metro card. I tried so hard not to look. But it's one of those horrible sights that you can't not look at. The metro card didn't work. Back to the fingers. She inserted her thumb way in the back, and started jabbing at something. This is the grossest part. She removed her finger and began examining it to see what part of last nights dinner was on the moist and glistening tip of her thumb. I almost gagged. This pattern of finger, metro card, finger continued for the duration of my 40 minute ride to work, and I am almost positive it did not stop after I got off.

There really isn't a lesson here, except that fisting your face on the bus is both inappropriate and offensive to innocent onlookers who really don't want to see the undigested remains of last nights meatloaf stuck in your toofus.

Will work for SATC

So the rain is falling in NYC, and what better way to spend the afternoon than watching your very own Sex and the City marathon? I recently received season six as a gift for sending my sister-in-law home cooked Saturday lunches. Does that make me a Sex and the City prostitute of sorts? Will work for Sex and the City? Whatever the case, I can watch the episodes over and over again without difficulty. The show is funny, thought provoking, realistic and has characters that every woman can relate to in one way or another. When I heard season six would be the final season, I was beyond devastated. I have been watching the re-runs ever since, and it got me to wondering...will any other TV show ever take it's place?


SJP can do no wrong!

12 step program needed

So it wasn’t until I was about a half a block from work that I realized I have a serious addiction. I’m not sure how it got this out of hand. I was first introduced to it as a child. But in recent years it seems it has gone from a weekly treat, to a daily necessity. It was about 2:30pm when I got the craving. I was at my desk. I turned to my co worker and gave her the look. She gave it right back to me. That’s when I knew what I had to do. I asked her if she thought they had any at the car wash across the street. Sometimes they do. I grabbed my wallet and headed across the street. It was closed. (Insert foul language here)

I started running. I was still on the clock, it had to be fast. Thought maybe I could score some at the CVS two blocks away (more like four city blocks). I ran in, my heart was racing, I needed it bad. I felt disoriented as I walked up and down the aisles looking for it. I thought I was going to pass out when….

I found it…

(actual photos)
=/

Just a Wednesday evening...

Last night we had to truck it in the rain to Wachovia because for some reason they don't have one in Brooklyn. Should I be offended?? Well anywho, we ended up grabbing a bite to eat at Cosi. I <3 Cosi's signature salad. Mixed greens tossed with red grapes, pears, pistachios, dried cranberries and gorgonzola. Tossed with sherry shallot vinaigrette. They serve it with the most addictive lightly salted flatbread...omgosh it's good. I had it with a tomato basil soup which they also serve with the sexy flatbread. So needless to say, I was chuck full of flatbread. So worth the bloated feeling I left with. And for your viewing pleasure, a photo of that aforementioned sexy flatbread:



I couldn't stop at the bread, so some more macro fun ensued...









I'm addicted to macro.

I Baracked the vote!

And Baracking the vote never felt so good! Watching the results along with the rest of the country, seeing the First Family walk on that stage, and hearing Obama's heartfelt speech all caused my eyes to well uncontrollably with tears. The excitement of what I was witnessing was overwhelming. To hear a President speak of change, hope, and possibility the way he did was something we have been aching for. To hear a President utter the word "Gay" during an acceptance speech was unbelievably monumental. To see people, Black, White, Asian, Hispanic... eyes filled with tears of joy, their hands clenched and held to their faces in blissful disbelief, to see them eagerly hanging on his every word...it was all surreal. Obama represents us all. He feels like one of us. I feel safe today. With the fate of our country in his hands, I feel safe. There is something honest in his voice, in his smile. There is something about the way he speaks of his family, something about the way he speaks of our future that makes me feel hopeful. I believe in him the same way I used to believe in my father as a child. I am proud of our country today. I felt earlier this week like we were a country divided. Today I feel as though we are a country united. The things that separate us have taken a back seat to what we all want for our wonderful country, for our children...for our future.

Yes We Can!

The Things We See

Williamsburg, Brooklyn

Oh Bama!!!

We are a country divided. So many things separate us…culture, finances, race, sexual preference, etc. Who stands for us? Who is against us? This is going to be a year that goes down in history! Even if Obama doesn’t win, he will have come damn close. This is a monumental moment, whether you love him or hate him, it speaks volumes as to how far we have come as a people, that a Black President is even a real possibility.

Some have said that Bush is the devil in sheep’s clothing, while McCain is the devil and doesn’t make any attempts to disguise it. He is just Bush on steroids. We need a change…desperately.

After September 11th Bush spoke passionately about avenging our attackers, he spoke so passionately in fact, that even if you felt nothing but sheer hatred for him, something about the patriotism in his voice moved you. You wanted to believe that all differences aside; he was going to lead us to victory and Osama would pay for the heinous acts of 9/11. So off to war went our fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, sons and daughters. And they wouldn’t stop until Hussein was brought to justice!!!! They were vigilant… WAIT!!! Hussein??? When did we stop looking for Osama and start looking for Hussein? When did changing the Iraqi way of life become our mission? What did I miss? If you didn’t hate him before… (Insert heavy sigh here)

We need a change. I can’t wait to cast my vote tomorrow… for change.