I kinda like...

that no one knows about this blog. I'm going through something...not sure what it is. I guess it's just that 30something-what-am-I-doing-with-my-life kind of stuff. It doesn't exactly help that I may have broken something in my foot, so I am bed bound and have nothing but time to think. There is this uncomfortable feeling inside me. I'm craving something. Something isn't right. I'm just getting increasingly frustrated because with work... the dogs... the kid... the bills... and all of the other STUFF...I feel like I don't have the time or energy to try and do whatever needs to be done to rid myself of this feeling.

*sigh*

On a lighter note... I am in love ... and having amazing sex. :) lol

toes.

Atlantic City, Aug '09

This roller coaster called life.

Sheesh it has been a rough ride these past few months. My son left home and went back to live with his father...I have not heard from him in 2 months. He is slowly breaking my heart. My daughter needs to have minor surgery #2 because her cyst came back. My grandfather is in the hospital where they let him fall out of the bed after having two brain surgeries (the result of a fall). My relationship is in shambles. Let's see what else???? LOL

The ONE good thing is that I am still able to smile!!! *CHEESE*

I miss this blog. I am going to try to post more often...gradually.

Updates:

The childrens father is still an asshole. I have emailed him a couple of times to advise him of some very important things but I have not heard back from him.

My daughter was in the hospital for an emergency minor surgerical procedure. She is home and doing well now. It was really nice of her father to show up at the hospital to pay her a visit... EMPTY HANDED...not so much as a balloon.

I don't think I have ever been under as much financial stress as I am under at this time. I had a mild panic attack the other day. WTF.

I started the procedure for child support. The state better not order him to pay $15 or some shit like that because as it is I am feeling very POSTAL lol


I have cracked open a bottle of wine and plan to relax my mind tonight. I have another blog that I have been dedicating more of my time to... really trying to focus on my writing. I decided to make a separate blog because the content might not be for everyone.

I guess that's it for now! =)

How do they sleep at night?

Since my son came back home to live with me, his father has basically disowned him and barely speaks to my daughter, although he says he is not mad at her. Now my thing is...you want to be mad at me, FINE. You still have financial obligations with regards to your children. My daughter is going to South Africa this summer and her school will not allow her to proceed with the process until her account has a zero balance. They called me yesterday and asked if I could send her to school today with a check for $471. Of course I said, "Sure, no problem." And she will definitely have it. However, that money is needed elsewhere. He won't respond to my emails or phonecalls. Yesterday I texted his wife and asked her to relay the message to him that the $300 that he owes me since september plus half of the $470, totaling $535 would be greatly appreciated. FYI she feels my pain and is trying to figure out a way to leave his abusive ass at this very moment. It's not good when you have to go home thinking of your escape plan for the night. I just don't now how these bastards sleep at night.

I so cannot believe...

That it has been almost two months since I have posted here. My poor little blog. Things have just been so crazy! We moved...AGAIN...only seven months into our lease...mainly because our landlord was an ASSHOLE! We love the new place and plan to stay here for a long time. The thought of moving again quite literally makes me a lil sick. Other than that, lots of funny and strange things have happend...and as soon as I remember them, I will post them! Stay tuned!

I promised myself I wouldn't do this...

But damnit, it's my blog!

Do you love animals? Of course you do!
Do you love the circus? Of course you do!
I know you are probably saying to yourself, "Well these are silly questions Vanessa, who doesn't love the circus?"

I will tell you who doesn't love the circus...

THE ANIMALS!

The animals that can't speak for themselves and say:
I don't want to do this.
I want to retire.
Stop hurting me.
You're scaring me.
I miss my home.
Please let me go home.

We do what we want to animals because they can't communicate their feelings the way we do.

The following is an email I received from PETA. Please watch the undercover footage (link at the bottom of email).

Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus, the "cruelest show on Earth" is coming to New York, and we need your help to raise awareness about the cruelty and violence that go on behind the scenes at the circus. When Ringling is in your town, it’s up to kind people like you to let Ringling know that this cruel show is not welcome!

Experts, eyewitnesses, and video footage prove that physical abuse is standard practice for training elephants in circuses. Ringling’s trainers have been observed hitting and jabbing elephants, including babies, with sharp steel-tipped rods called "bullhooks." We know that Ringling causes pain and suffering to animals, but we must share this with others so that they, too, will boycott the circus.

We hope that you will take some time out of your busy schedule to join local activists for these exciting and important demonstrations:

What: Ringling demonstrations
When: Thursday, March 26, 6 p.m. (opening night)
Saturday, March 28, 10 a.m., 2:15 p.m., and 6:30 p.m.
Sunday, March 29, 10 a.m., 2:15 p.m., and 6:30 p.m.
Wednesday, April 1, 6:30 p.m.
Sunday, April 5, 10 a.m., 2:15 p.m., and and 6:30 p.m.
Friday, April 10, 10 a.m. and 2:15 p.m.
Saturday, April 11, 10 a.m., 2:15 p.m., and 6:30 p.m.
Sunday, April 12, 2:15 p.m. and 6:30 p.m.
Monday, April 13, 2:15 p.m.
Where: Madison Square Garden (7th Avenue entrance), 4 Penn Plz., New York

All materials will be provided. If you have any questions about the demonstrations, please contact me at DavidS@peta.org. For more information on this campaign, to learn what former employees say about Ringling, and to view PETA's videos showing behind-the-scenes training, please visit Circuses.com.

We're in this fight together, and we couldn't do it without you. We're grateful that you're part of our A-Team, and we encourage you to take full advantage of the network by contacting us any time with questions, requests, or concerns. Thanks so much for everything that you do for animals!

For animals,

David Salisbury, Assistant Activist Liaison
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals
DavidS@peta.org


Undercover Video