Guess who I saw?

Yup! Mr. Softee!

Listen, if it is cold enough to make my nipples hard...then it's not warm enough for ice cream!

Men need new material!

So I was walking the dogs this morning and I noticed a few police officers standing in front a car service storefront. I thought, I wonder what happened there? I didn't give it too much thought and continued to walk the pups praying for them to do their business so I could catch the 8:15 bus. JACKPOT! Cupcake began crouching. So I bent down to pick up her poop (I think I am the only one in Bushwick who picks up after their dog), and I heard one of the cops say, "Damn I gotta use the bathroom too!"

*pause*

Me: Are you insinuating that I should pick up your poop?
Him: No, no... (undetectable mumbling)
Me: Have a nice day.

So I continued walking, thinking WHO says that?

Now he tries to recover.

Him: I got two dogs. Can you walk my dogs too?
Me:Ummm How much are you paying? (I'm usually prepared with witty responses, but I was at a loss)
Him: How much am I paying? *pause* Can I come talk to you? *starts walking over*
Me: *mumbles curse-words* I'm kind of in a rush.

The rest is too unimportant and long to document.

If any men should come across this post, please adhere to the following:

Do not make animal noises to get our attention
Do not ask us if you can have some of what we are eating/drinking
Do not ask us why we didn't purchase you one of what we are eating/drinking
Do not call us ma, mami, chula, sexy, boo, etc.
Do not make those I-want-to-eat-you-up faces while licking your lips and looking us up and down
Do not ask us to pick up your poop
Do not ask us to do the things you see us doing (for you), in a poor attempt to strike up a conversation (i.e. you see us taking out the garbage and say, damn ma you wanna take out my garbage?) Notice: the example was a doubly whammy because it started off with Damn ma
Do not tell us that you want to "CONVERSATE" with us

The list can go on and on, but if this post helps just one man, I am happy.

The fruits of my labor

Jazmine and Cyrus
Sibling Love (at least for the picture lol)

Psycho is back!

So my son who lives with his dad called me this weekend to tell me that his father excessively "disciplined" him, and he didn't want to be there any longer. I didn't need to hear anymore, I went and retrieved him and his things from his fathers house. His father has a history of violence and his parenting methods have always left lots to be desired. Perhaps I should have called him before removing my son from the house, but you don't know this man. He is irrational and can go from 0-100 in 5 seconds. So now he is behaving very much like a child telling me that he and I are not on good terms and that he wants nothing to do with his son. UGH he really makes me sick. He doesn't want to know anything, positive or negative about my son, and wishes me good luck. Whew! What a nut job...you ever look back and have one of those What was I thinking moments?

So my son is safely in my home. I am a little worried because his father has to come over tonight to bring the last of my sons' stuff. I don't want any drama...but I am already anticipating it.

I am not one who hesitates to dial 911, and he knows this. I only hope it is fresh in his mind. Prayers please.

Eleven minutes you'll never get back

But worth it.



Lmao.

I demand a new dress code - NO CLOGS!

My co-worker has gone from wearing boots, that for some reason create a very annoying sound when she walks, to wearing clogs. I think I will go play in traffic now.



You think you know, but you have no idea.

Someone posed the question

What's making you happy right now?

Honestly I couldn't answer it, and that made me feel sad.

Work: I hate it. I can't find the silver lining there.

Children: They've grown up so fast, and are slipping right through my Kung Fu grip.

Me: Still haven't reached my goal weight, and quite honestly, haven't been trying very hard. Top three weaknesses: Cheese Chocolate and SODA!

Friends: Everyone is so far, and I am in desperate need of a GNO!

Education: I want to go back to school so badly, but the funds just won't allow it at this moment.

Health: Fibromyalgia is really taking a huge toll on me, and my knees are crunching louder than ever before. I mean don't get me wrong, I am always thankful that I am basically in good health, and that my family and close friends are all blessed in that department. HOWEVER, that doesn't lessen the pain I feel daily.

Debt: I don't want to talk about it.

Money: Not much to talk about. Need much more than I have, and don't know where it's coming from.

Very gloomy post right? I know! I kinda wanna punch the screen right now myself.
But at the risk of irritating everyone and using a very overused phrase, it is what it is!

I'm one of those happy people that always has a smile on even when the world is trying to gain entry through my anus, but today the smile is a little crooked and kind of half-ass.